MUST KNOW RULES OF MARRIAGE

MUST KNOW RULES OF MARRIAGE

General

RULES OF MARRIAGE

1. ALMIGHTY ALLAH provides the blueprints for marriage and the power source of love, wisdom, and health. Only Almighty Allah can heal any marriage if the husband and wife will submit themselves to Him and let Him change. Marriage needs to be re-explained. It needs to be re-branded as an awesome, noble, and challenging adventure. Our manhood, our happiness, and our children’s future depend on marriage—yours, mine, and everybody else’s. In a culture of counterfeits and mistruths, it’s important to understand what marriage is about. As you read through the following list, ask Almighty Allah to remake you and help you understand what it means to be a man and a husband. Let’s value marriage and relate well to our wives, whether we’re married yet, or preparing for that woman.

Marriage

2. It’s the union and oneness of man and woman in lifelong covenant. It’s the team that anchors a family. It’s a bonded relationship that mirrors sacrificial, unconditional, lasting love for their children. Decide to add value to a wife, not take value. Here is the definition of a man: responsible, initiating, courageous, self sacrificing, healing, peacemaking, justice-doing, others centered rather than self centered, loving others in ways that add value and nobility to them. It can help conform him to reshaping his will and identity into union with, and deference toward, his wife. This is like the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit who honor, defer to, and glorify each other.

Friendship of Marriage

3. The friendship of marriage helps spouses become better versions of themselves, closer to what Allah designed and redeemed them to be. They must face the truth about themselves, their strengths and imperfections. They will face conflict and difficulty and must grow empathy and teamwork. Selfishness must melt away if they are to become healthy, strong and mature together.

Meaning of Love

4. Love defines not by how much you want to receive, but by how much you are willing to give of yourself - your will, your freedom, your time, your emotions, your forgiveness, your resources. A husband does this by choosing his wife as a priority in his life over all other pursuits, possessions and distractions regardless of whether she is kind, lovable, or respectful. Love brings out the best in her. A man initiates love, rather than waiting for or demanding respect or kind treatment. Love is not dependent upon feelings. Decisions and choices to love can regenerate the feelings of love.

Better Being

5. They way to become a great lover is to practice with only one woman for life. It is to be generous, exclusive, and serving not greedy, distracted, and taking. A great relationship and great sex are connected in marriage, and that only happens when a man’s sole target of sexual affections, imaginations, and enjoyment is his wife.

Commitment in Marriage

6. A man needs to know that commitment is a key to success in all of life, and especially in a relationship with a woman. One way of defining commitment in marriage is never considering divorce. If you know that you won’t be leaving or divorcing, it forces you to face differences and problems and work through them. In marriage it is the security of commitment that allows a woman to feel peace in the relationship. The assurance of a husband’s commitment helps a woman entrust herself to him emotionally and sexually.

Marriage is Not Easy

7. Marriage is not automatic and it’s often difficult. The euphoria of romantic infatuation in the first years of marriage fades, requiring the mature resolve to behave lovingly and invest relationally to build a deeper bond than infatuation. Marriage will take intentional and continual effort.

Marriage Makes You Holy

8. A human needs to know that the purpose of marriage is less to make you happy than to make you holy. Now it’s true that a good marriage to a good woman can make you happier than most anything else on earth. But if your goal is to be happy, then you will be focused on yourself and you will damage your character and your relationships. You will allow your marriage relationship to change you and crush your selfish will and defensive pride. You will experience true oneness in your marriage. You’ll be deepest friends, intimate allies, generous lovers, caring providers, complementary partners and spiritual enhancers.

Natural Responders 

9. Human being are natural responders when they initiate love, prayer and humility. They must not be passive, arrogant, distracted, or controlling. A human being will not point the finger at spouse’s behavior or shortcomings but will examine his/ her history as a husband/ wife and ask Almighty Allah to change him/ her. His heart, care and his initiative is the key to his spouse’s response and the health of the marriage.

Humbling to Spouse

10. A human being needs to know that humbling himself to his/ her spouse is the gutsiest and most successful way to heal his/ her heart and the frequently compromised relationship. A human being with courage and wisdom will never overlook his spose’s hurt feelings. And he’ll seek to overlook the disrespectful words he/ she blurts out in reaction to how he hurt his/ her feelings.

Simple Solution

11. When you are in conflict, don’t wait for things to blow over. Don’t try to point out his/ her fault. Don’t try to minimize the situation. And don’t defend yourself. Instead, be a leader. Start the apology. A great starting point is, “I was wrong. I hurt you. Please forgive me?”

12. A man needs to know that a wife wants him to lead her, but will tend to lead and control him if he doesn’t lead and initiate. Leadership starts with your character and your devotion to Allah. Your walk with Allah determines the quality of your love and leadership as a husband.

Conclusion

13. Seek Almighty Allah. Humble yourself before Him. Seek a mentor or group to help you grow and become a good wife/ husband. Leadership of a wife is humility before Allah, initiating teamwork with your wife, praying with her every day and praying for your family. Most guys, I know well are like me in this: If you’re frustrated with your wife and your marriage, the solution lies in getting back into Almighty Allah and His Word!

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Warmly,

Md. Lutful Huda 

Solicitor

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