Most Effective Ways to Control Anger

Most Effective Ways to Control Anger

Introduction

Md. Lutful Huda

1. Anger is an absolutely normal, generally healthy, and individual emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns disparaging, it is likely to lead to problems. Anger can also be said as a natural human experience, and sometimes there are valid reasons to get angry like feeling hurt by something someone said or did or experiencing frustration over a situation at work or home. But uncontrolled anger can be a toll and problematic for your personal relationships and for your health. Fortunately, there are tools you can learn to help you keep your anger in check. Here are few anger management tools:

Check Yourself

2. It’s hard to make smart choices when you’re in the grips of a powerful negative emotion. Try to identify warning signs that you’re starting to get annoyed. When you recognize the signs, step away from the situation to prevent your irritation from escalating.

Discover Probable Solutions

3. Discussing your feelings with a good friend can be useful and can help you get a different perspective on the situation. Instead of focusing on what made you angry, work on resolving the issue at hand. Remind yourself that anger won't unlock anything and might only make it worse.

Manage Your Anger

4. Managing your anger is as much about managing your happiness and contentment as
your anger. It should be a part of developing your emotional intelligence and resilience.

Use Distraction

5. A familiar strategy for managing anger is to distract your mind from the situation that is making you angry. Playing soothing music, talking to a good friend, or focusing on a simple task like polishing the car or folding laundry may help in this regard. 

Don’t Dwell 

6. Some people have a tendency to keep rehashing the incident that made them angry. That’s an uncreative strategy, especially if you have already resolved the issue that angered you. Instead, try to let go of the past incident.

Think Consciously and Clearly

7. In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something for which you'll later feel sorry. Take some time to collect your thoughts before saying anything and allow others involved in the situation to do the same. As soon as you're thinking clearly and consciously, express your frustration in an assertive way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others.

Exercise Regularly

8. Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities. Regular physical exercise can help you decompress, burn off extra tension and reduce stress that can fuel angry outbursts.

Use Relaxation Strategies

9. When your temper flickers, put relaxation strategies to work. Practice deep breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy." Make time to relax regularly, and ensure that you get enough sleep. If you practice one or more of these strategies often, it will be easier to apply them when angry feelings strike.

Take a Timeout

1o. Timeouts are important during stressful situations. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of timeout might help you feel better prepared to handle your anger. 

Change Your Environment

11. Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and wrath. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap. 

Forgive Others

12. Forgiving others is a positive attitude. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to accumulate in your mind, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive others who made you angry will help to strengthen relationship. 

Lightening Up

13. Using humor can help diffuse tension in a positive way. Avoid cynicism, though it can hurt feelings and make things worse. 

Learn to Ask for Assistance

14. Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret afterwards or hurts those around you. 

Get Creative

15. Writing, dancing or painting can release tension and reduce feelings of anger. You might also listen to music or write in a journal, whatever it takes to support entertainment.

No to Drugs

16. Drugs and alcohol can make anger problems worse. They lower inhibitions and, actually, we need inhibitions to stop us acting unacceptably when we’re angry. 

Follow Cognitive Restructuring Techniques 

17. When you’re angry, it’s easy to feel like things are worse than they really are. Through a technique known as cognitive restructuring, you can replace negative thoughts with more reasonable ones. Instead of thinking “Everything is ruined,” for example, tell yourself “This is frustrating, but it’s not the end of the world.”

Use Logic

18. Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, anger can quickly become irrational. Remind yourself that the world is not out to get you. Do this each time you start feeling angry, and you'll get a more balanced perspective.

Translate Expectations into Desires

19. Angry people tend to demand things, whether it's fairness, appreciation, agreement or willingness to do things their way. Try to change your demands into requests. And if things don’t go your way, try not to let your disappointment turn into anger.  

Learn Assertiveness Behavior

20. Assertiveness skills can be learnt through self help books or by watching You Tube videos. These skills ensure that anger is channeled and expressed in clear and respectful ways. Being assertive means being clear with others about what your needs and wants are, feeling okay about asking for them, but respecting the other person's needs and concerns as well and being prepared to negotiate. 


Get Assistance

21. If uncontrolled anger leads to domestic violence, you may seek help and support. If you feel, you need help dealing with your anger; there might be private courses and therapists who can help with anger issues. 

Join Anger Management Programmes 

22. You may undergo a typical anger management programme may involve one to one counseling and working in a small group. The programmes can consist of a one day or weekend course. In some cases, it may be over a couple of months.

Avoid Negative Phrases

23. Try to avoid using phrases that include:

Should or Shouldn't ("You should do what I want")

Must or Mustn't ("I must be on time," or "I mustn't be late")

Ought or Oughtn't ("People ought to get out of my way")

Always (for example, "You always do that")

Never ("You never listen to me")

Conclusions

24. Anger can be caused by internal and external events. You might feel angry at a person, an entity like the company you work for, or an event like a traffic jam or a political election. Wherever the feelings come from, you don’t have to let your anger get the better of you. Anger can take different forms. Some people feel angry much of the time, or can’t stop dwelling on an event that made them angry. Whatever shape it takes, uncontrolled anger can negatively affect physical health and emotional well being. Research shows that anger and hostility can increase people's chances of developing coronary heart disease, and lead to worse outcomes in people who already have heart disease. Anger can also lead to stress related problems including insomnia, digestive problems and headaches. Anger can also contribute to violent and risky behaviors, including drug and alcohol use. And on top of all that, anger can significantly damage relationships with family, friends and colleagues.

Note:
Prepared by Major (R) Md. Lutful Huda, presently Chairman of TIDAC and Dreamwork Limited, Chief Editor of 'Crime and Judgement' Magazine

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