Best Ways to Strengthen a Marriage and Avoid Break Up

Md. Lutful Huda

Introduction

1. Relationship has its ups and its downs. In a relationship, both husband and wife have a responsibility to build and strengthen marriages to provide a stable environment for children. There are many things they can do as husbands/wife and parents to try to protect and preserve their marriage relationships and avoid a breakup and the issues that come from it. Sometimes, a relationship heads in the wrong direction. You might really try to save it. You can try to stop an imminent breakup by getting ahead of the issue and trying to solve the issue with your partner. However, in worst case, not all relationships are meant to last. Determine with wisdom your reasons for staying and see if leaving is actually the right move for you but that should be the last resort. Take the following steps to improve the bond you have with one another to strengthen your marriage and avoid breakup:

Breakup is Not a Choice

2. You may have a thought that you would be better off outside the marriage. Be sure, that thought alone can cause a major fracture in your motivation to make it better. Simply deciding that breakup is not an option will help you focus on what you can do rather than on what you don't want to do.

Respect Your Partner

3. Your partner may not be the same person when you got married. By the time and because of many other reasons and environment, both of you have changed. But be confirm, your partner is still worthy of respect. Think seriously that your partner is an incredible person in his/ her own right. Consider making a list of most incredible and appealing qualities of your partner. So you can remember why it was you fall in love in the first place.

Establish Communication

4. A person having real intellect will definitely establish communication with the partner. There is no substitute of establishing communication regularly and about everything. Your partner feels intimacy with you when you share openly about your lives, wellbeing, thoughts, dreams and expectations. Effective communication is an important way to strengthen marriage.

Share Financial Matters

5. In a relationship, how you handle money together is a significant element of success. The downfall of many families revolves around finances. Often you bring different expectations about money to a relationship and coming to agreement. Agree on a financial plan and an approach to liability and then live within your limits is a better solution in a relationship. Study and learn to differentiate between a requirement and a desire, and then make sure your requirements are met in a positive way.

Restore Balance in Relationship

6. One of the hardest balances to unearth is the amount of time to spend together. Too much is good and too little is unmindful. So when one needs some space, allowing is a better option. When a partner wants more time with you, you should make time. If time away from a partner begins to grow, it's a good time to sit down and talk about hope and requirements. It is important to redress the balance to the relationship by making more ‘couple time’ to do things for each other. Alternatively if you feel you are always trying to please your partner then hold back on the affection and make it clear in a positive manner that until your partner makes time for your needs you won’t be getting love.

Take Care of Yourself

7. Partners become a bit cynical with marriage when you start to fall apart physically. Gaining weight and not taking good care of yourself is a off-ramp for your partner. And the better care your take of yourself, the more likely your partner will take care more about him/ her outlook too. Try to do all you can to build up your strength and self-esteem, most importantly by being kind and compassionate with yourself.

Remove Boredom in Relationship

8. To prevent a break up, it is important that both of you don’t become victims of inertia because you both feel secure that your partner isn’t going anywhere. This gradually takes its toll, as the variety and spice within a relationship can be lost. Ultimately this will lead to you or your partner associating the relationship/ marriage with boredom, which can be the main reason behind cheating.

Remove Laziness from Life

9. This can manifest itself in many negative ways within a relationship, including:

a. Not caring about your appearance.

b. No more fun dates.

c. Taking each other for granted.

d. No more effort in your sex life.

e. No more “Just him and you time”.

Even just having a proper conversation can be jettisoned through laziness, where time spent with each other is dominated by the everyday motions such as kids, work and logistics. This replaces the themes of dreams, books, and politics, the world, aspirations etc that were part of the reason behind your initial attraction to one another.

Keep Encouraging

10. One of the best ways to keep a bit of a flash in marriage is to make time to encourage your wife. Make time for a night every week, if possible even if it is just a drive out for a cup of coffee. Little chitchat goes a long way in keeping a marriage healthy. Find something nice to say about your partner every day.

Maintain Healthy Relationship

11. To prevent a break up, it is important that a healthy, balanced relationship is maintained. To prevent a breakup caused by hardship:

a. Don’t let relationships overtake your life.

b. Don’t neglect your friends, hobbies or health.

c. Remember that a relationship can be an important component in your life, but never the only component.

Forgive Your Partner

12. Often marriages begin to fall apart when one partner or another holds a bitterness. Forgiveness is a gift that you give to your partner more than one you give to yourself. So refuse to hold complaints and have a forgiving attitude.

Exercise Regularly

13. One of the keystone habit that leads to transformation of other areas of life and that is the most powerful habits to change in other patterns is regular physical activity. Exercise is a positive way to keep from dwelling in sadness and forming negative patterns like depression and anxiety. It also leads to bad relationship with family. Be sure to include social hobbies as well as individual ones.

Controlling Your Partner

14. Don’t have a tendency to control your partner rather learn to cooperate each other. You often become suspicious when your partner has relationships outside marriage. Remember a partner will undoubtedly come to know if you grow an extra marital affair that will lead to cheating and breakup. In this case, follow the quote below that is very important,

‘It takes a lot of wisdom to accept the things, the things which you cannot change or which is not under your control and change the things you can’

Get Assistance

15. If you are having problems, get assistance from a psychologist for counseling. You may also take help from You Tube in this regard to get some initial help and an appointment to psychologists. You may also take religious assistance from an elderly one whom you think a pious and good being by heart.

Remember You are Parents

16. Sometimes you forget that you are parents. Consider the life of your children is much more important to you and that is obvious. Your children’s fate depends on your relationship. Now it’s your judgment as to which path to follow. Try to sacrifice anything for the sake of your children’s betterment. Remember one who has got the quality of sacrificing always wins in all spheres of his/ her life and is considered a better human being.

Conclusion

17. Break ups are often caused by an unbalanced relationship, where both partners don’t see each other as equals. Salvaging a relationship from the brink is a tricky process with no quick fix available. But if you are an intellectual, having adequate knowledge and if you are willing of course, you will be able to make it. Relationship breakups are tough. They are emotionally exhausting, and can be incapacitating at times. For some who begin to dwell in regret and sadness, breakups can even spiral into anxiety and depression. Even the breakups that make the most logical sense are still emotionally painful. And in fact, it is the emotional not logical that causes us to dwell in these relationships that we may logically know are not healthy for us. Whilst exhibiting love for your partner is a requisite for a healthy relationship and by no means a negative thing, this should not be confused with neediness, which is a different creature altogether.

Note:

Prepared by Major (R) Md. Lutful Huda, presently Chairman of TIDAC and Dreamwork Limited, Chief Editor of 'Crime and Judgement' Magazine

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