Learn Passive Behaviour

Learn Passive Behaviour

Passive Behaviour, Md. Lutful Huda

General

1. Responding in a passive or non assertive way tends to mean compliance with the wishes of others and can undermine individual rights and self-confidence. Many people adopt a passive response because they have a strong need to be liked by others. Such people do not regard themselves as equals because they place greater weight on the rights, wishes and feelings of others. Being passive results in failure to communicate thoughts or feelings and results in people doing things they really do not want to do in the hope that they might please others. This also means that they allow others to take responsibility, to lead and make decisions for them. A classic passive response is offered by those who say 'yes' to requests when they actually want to say 'no'. 

Passiveness

2. The person responding passively really does not have the time, but their answer does not convey this message. The second response is assertive as the person has considered the implications of the request in the light of the other tasks they have to do. If you become known as a person who cannot say no, you will be loaded up with tasks by your colleagues and managers, and you could even make yourself sick. When you respond passively, you present yourself in a less positive light or put yourself down in some way. If you constantly belittle yourself in this way, you will come to feel inferior to others. While the underlying causes of passive behaviour are often poor self confidence and self esteem, in itself it can further reduce feelings of self worth, creating a vicious circle.

Aim of Passive Behaviour

3. Often, the aim of submissive behaviour is to avoid perceived conflict and to please others. This involves failing to stand up for your rights or doing so in such a way that others feel they can disregard them. Your needs, wants, opinions, beliefs and feelings are expressed in apologetic, tentative, self-effacing or even dishonest ways.

4. A submissive or passive person might say things like:

Sorry to take up your valuable time, but I’ve got a little problem I need some help on

It’s only my opinion, but I don’t think you’re entirely right

If you say so, we’ll go to your mum’s for lunch

Yes, boss, I’ll do that right away.

As the passive person is suppressing their own needs, this can make them feel resentful and undervalued. You may observe signs of resentment and bottled anger which can surface as passive/aggressive behaviour. 

Signs, Md. Lutful Huda

5. Signs of Passive behaviour includes:

Voice

Tone may be whining

Very soft, quiet or childlike

Often dull or monotonous

Drops away at the end of a sentence

Speech Pattern

Hesitant, many pauses

May stress ‘you’ words

Frequent throat clearing

Gives up when interrupted

Face

‘Ghost’ smiles 

Eyebrow raised in anticipation 

Expressions change frequently

Eye Contact

Evasive

Furtive glances

Often looks down or away from the other person

Body

Wrings hands

Hunches shoulders

Steps back

Covers mouth with hand

Nervous movements 

Arms crossed for protection

Note:

Prepared by Major (R) Md. Lutful Huda, presently Chairman of TIDAC and Dreamwork Limited, Chief Editor of 'Crime and Judgement' Magazine