Understand Assertive Behaviour

Understand Assertive Behaviour

Behaviour Md. Lutful Huda

Behaviour

1. Adopting assertive behaviour allows you to seek the best possible result for both parties. Where it is not possible to reach a suitable compromise, adopting assertive behaviour will help you to maintain a positive and friendly relationship. Assertiveness is equally important at work as at home. It is important to note that good interpersonal skills mean you need to be aware of the different ways of communicating and the different response each approach might provoke. The use of either passive or aggressive behaviour in interpersonal relationships can have undesirable consequences for those you are communicating with and it may well hinder positive moves forward.

Assertiveness

2. Assertiveness is a key communication skill. Assertiveness means standing up for your personal rights without undermining other rights and expressing thoughts, feelings and beliefs in direct, honest and appropriate ways. By being assertive, we should always respect the thoughts, feelings and beliefs of other people. Assertiveness concerns being able to express feelings, wishes, desires and wants appropriately and is an important personal and interpersonal skill. In all your interactions with other people, whether at home or at work, with employers, customers or colleagues, assertiveness can help you to express yourself in a clear, open and reasonable way, without undermining your own or others’ rights. Assertiveness enables individuals to act in their own best interests, to stand up for themselves without undue anxiety, to express honest feelings comfortably and to express personal rights without denying the rights of others. Assertiveness means encouraging others to be open and honest about their views, wishes and feelings, so that both parties act appropriately.

3. Assertive Behaviour Includes:

• Being open in expressing wishes, thoughts and feelings and encouraging others to do likewise. 
• Listening to the views of others and responding appropriately, whether in agreement with those views or not. 
• Accepting responsibilities and being able to delegate to others. 
• Regularly expressing appreciation of others for what they have done or are doing. 
• Being able to admit to mistakes and apologise.
• Maintaining self control. 
• Behaving as an equal to others. 

Aim of Assertive Behaviour

4. The aim of assertive behaviour is to communicate productively with another person, achieving what is often described as a win/win outcome. This involves standing up for your own rights without violating those of the other person. To do this, you need to express your needs, wants, opinions, beliefs and feelings in a direct, honest and adult way. 

Opinions And Interpretations 


5. In order to explain your point of view, you may need to express an opinion or explain your interpretation of events. Where this is necessary, make sure that you state it as an opinion or interpretation. Do not try and present your point of view as fact as it tells the other person that their view is irrelevant to you.

6. An assertive person might say things like:

I’d like to tackle the task in this way; how does that affect you?

I understand what you are saying; however, I’ve got to go. Can we deal with the problem in the morning?

7. Signs of assertive behaviour includes:

Signs Md. Lutful Huda

Voice 

Steady and firm

Tone

Middle Range, Full and Warm

Clear, sounds sincere

Neither too loud or too soft

Speech Pattern

Fluent and confident

Pauses are intentional, not awkward

Key ‘action’ words are stressed

If interrupted, waits for silence, then repeats calmly

Face

Smiles when pleased

Frowns when angry

Normal expression is friendly, approachable and open

Expression steady, does not flicker

Jaw relaxed, but not ‘loose’

Eye Contact

Meets the other person’s eyes often

Does not stare them out

Body

Open hand movements, inviting others to speak

Sits upright or relaxed, does not slouch or cower

Stands with head held up

Makes firm and definite movements, does not fidget Folds arms unapproachable,

Note:

Prepared by Major (R) Md. Lutful Huda, presently Chairman of TIDAC and Dreamwork Limited, Chief Editor of 'Crime and Judgement' Magazine